QFTD (Quotes For The Day)

I'll go ahead with using "my blog" (I feel so hip and current and, well, like I've joined the masses) as a forum for posting the amusing things my daughters say each day. That way, the aunties and uncles and grandparents can follow without my polluting their email inboxes daily and anyone else who may ever find this blog can follow along at their discretion. And, as I have a thought or two on the chaos of our life, I'll interject those in too.

I've been recording their quotes pretty consistently for maybe a month or so now - and a bit from before, so I'll post what I've collected thus far. Then, I'll add to the bunch as more diverting words are spoken.

I'll acquaint anyone unfamiliar with Abby and Ellie (and probably us, the parents, as well) in the column to the right. That way, an accurate understanding of who speaks these crazy things will be had.

Let's go...

Starting with February 4, 2010:

We were at Target and I found a couple of leotards on sale for the girls. I put them in the cart and continued on. Ellie: "Where's my battar?" Me: "Your what?" "My battar." Abby: "Oh - do you mean your lemontard?" "Yeah. My lemontodd." "Mom, she means her lemontard."

Later, the girls were telling Nana on the phone about the new leotards. Ellie: "Nana, we got new lemontodds!" Nana: "New what?" "New lemontodds! Mine is pink and Abby's is blue." "Oh - new leotards!" Abby: "Yeah. She means lemo..., I mean leba... I mean - Mom, what are those tards called?"

Adam was assembling something and Abby asked if she could help him tighten the bolt. "Sure. Turn it." Abby: "Hand me the wrench." Me: "How do you know what a wrench is?" Abby: "I've seen lots of wrenches in this world."

Ellie: "I wanna watch Clippard the real bad dog. I mean, The real red dog. I mean the big red dog."

At Home Depot, Ellie was getting restless and dropped a box of screws out of the shopping cart to show her discontent, spilling them everywhere. "Okay Elllie, get out and clean those all up. That was not nice." Abby: "Is she going to jail?"

Every time we lie down before naps to read stories, the girls take their pants and shirts off. I asked Abby why she has to do that every time. "Because they make me rotten."

Abby and Ellie were pretending the treadmill was a stage. Abby sang at the top of her lungs for a few minutes and abruptly stopped. Ellie: "Holy good. Now get off the stage."

The girls were playing make-believe - some version of camping with cats. Abby told Ellie to get off of "her bed" (the treadmill) since that's where the dad and mom sleep - not kitties. Ellie: "But where do I sleep?" Abby: "You can go sleep out in the fire." Ellie: "But I will get burned." "That's okay. That's for our breakfast." ...?...

I asked the girls if they were so excited for Matt and Michael to be missionaries. Ellie: "But, I don't want them to - Is Uncle Nick going to be a missionary?" "No. Not yet." "But I don't want Uncle Matt and Uncle Michael to be missionaries. I love them."

Ellie: "Oh! I see my website."

Ellie: "Mom, I really want you to get me a chocolate cookie."

I had to play at a baptism this morning, so whipped out my vio vio when I woke up to figure out what to play. Abby and Ellie were listening and I started to crescendo. Abby: "Mom! Stop that! You are playing too loud! You're going to WAKE UP DAD! STOP IT!!!"

We were driving to Adam's work and Abby asked if I was driving with my wheels on the white lines. "Um, yeah...?" "No, Mom! See - look at the other cars. They aren't on the white lines. You need to drive in the middle!"

Abby and Ellie have started playing again with a Little Tykes dollhouse I found at a garage sale during the summer and it's too funny to hear them making the dolls talk. That is, until Abby says, "Pretend we're the giants - Walk on the children! Stomp the little children!" and she and Ellie, laughing, started walking and jumping on the poor plastic people.

A few days ago I sneezed quite forcefully, following up the "Ha-CHOO!" with a "WooOO!" Ellie, quite flatly responded: "Don't say woo." Then tonight while changing her panties, I pulled them down with a "Shoom!" Again: "Don't say shoom."

This morning Adam was getting Ellie ready for church. He told her to come put her jumper on and she responded "No. I don't like it." "Why not?" "It's not tolerable."

Abby: "Mom, can I help you clean the whole house, PLEASE?" .....?....

Abby insisted that we lie on her floor for "nap" time. We got situated with blankets and pillows and then with a quiver in her voice, she said: "Mom, I don't want to get baptized." "Why not?" "I'll be so scared." "Well, you still have a few years and then you can decide when you're older." "But, I don't want to be a mom when I'm older. And I don't want you to be a grandma. I want you to stay this size."

I made a big batch of hard boiled eggs. Whenever Ellie brings me one, she asks "Can you kill this for me?" "Peel?" "Yeah. Can you kill it?"

This morning I woke up with both girls in the bed (Adam had an early flight). Ellie sat up and said, "Mommy, I'm hungry." "You are?" "I'm really REALLY hungry." "Okay." "Mom, I'm really really REALLY hungry!" By this point I'm out of bed, walking in to the bathroom. "Mom, I'm really really Really REALLY hungry!"

I told the girls I'd be upstairs. Ellie: "Bye Mom. Have fun cleaning my room."

I got after Ellie for something - probably the entire loaf of bread that was emptied and halfway eaten and spread around the toy room - and she said "I didn't do it. Abby did it." "Ellie, Heavenly Father is watching and He knows that you're not telling the truth." "But where are the elves?"
Abby: "Uh-oh, Ellie. Don't you tell a lie. Mom, Ellie has something to say to you. First of all, she is not telling the truth. And then she, second of all, needs to say sorry for getting all of that bread out and taking it into the toy room and I just didn't and then she got the bag and just left it there and got all the pieces... Then, she was going to go up the stairs and that is third of all."

I was watching the news and the girls meandered in. (Abby's quite taken with the Haiti earthquake news.) The recent senate vote in Massachusettes was being covered and Abby turned to me with a half-"I know what's going on" half-valley girl voice and asked, "Mom, does Ovama live in Washington?" "Yes, he does. Good job." "Yeah. I know - he lives by Nana, in her world."

In the middle of the night, both girls woke up in Abby's bed, so I went in to lay by them. Abby was wearing her fleece monkey nightgown and got frustrated that it was twisted around her body. She started to take it off, which set off static electricity fireworks. "Mom! Did you see that? We need to take this back to the store to show the lady that it lights up!"

I stopped in at Home Depot (again) on our way home, despite the fact that it was nap time and I knew things wouldn't go well. I tend to get distracted and after Ellie ripped open a wood-filler pencil package, I knew my minutes were numbered. I told her not to touch anything else. She responded, "Oh...I give up."

While I was painting Ellie's room, I overheard her tap dancing in the bathroom while singing "I don't have rhythm! Rhythm-rhythm! I don't have rhythm!"

Tonight I was laying by Abby and she asked, with the most serene, dreamy smile : "Mom, do you remember when we had all that shrimp at Gina's house? I do."

At Home Depot today, Ellie and Abby started randomly talking about humans. As we passed one of the employees, Ellie said: "He's not a human. He's a Home Depot worker."

I picked Abby up at the playplace in Weggies and the worker asked Abby as she left if she wanted her picture - a Buffalo Sabres logo. "Oh yeah! Mom, this is for my brother." "Your brother?" "Yep. My new baby brother. He's coming." "Really, when?" "In a little while. His name is going to be Bruce." She and Ellie continued a discussion over whether we're going to have "many" brothers or sisters. Yikes!

I called the girls to come and eat lunch. Ellie started singing, "Time to eat! I love to eat! EATING!!!"

Ellie just came in and hopped up by me next to the computer. "Let's talk to the aunts and uncles." "You mean on the computer?" "Yeah." "Well, they aren't on the computer-they're gone." "Just move that thing in your hand." "This? The mouse?" "Yeah. That thing. Just push it and we'll see the aunts and uncles." (I think she liked Skyping.)

Ellie, hearing the hairdryer in the background while talking to Nana, "Where's your blowdryer? But - I need a GPS! You forgot me a GPS!"

Abby went to work with Adam for a few hours today. One of the things her found for her to do was call Nana on the fancy headset. Abby asked Nana what her phone number was so she could write it down to call her again later. "7" Writing it down-"S..e..v..e..n.." "0" "Z..e..r..o.." "3" "Um, I don't know how to write 3. Can we make it a 9 instead?"

Abby told Adam she was feeling sick because she was hungry. "How about if we get a hamburger?" he asked. "No. That'll make me more sick." "How about a cheeseburger?" "Yeah. That's good."

Ellie, sitting in her carseat while we waited in line for the car wash: "Hey guys. Who did the best toot? I did!"

We watched Prince of Egypt tonight. Toward the end, Abby said: "I think Moses didn't invite Ramses to his birthday party because he wasn't very nice."

Out of the blue Abby said to me, "Mommy, I want you to stay - what number are you? Your age?" "30" "Yeah - I want you to stay 30 forever."

This is only part of the back-and-forth between Abby and Uncle Michael during their lengthy phone conversation today. (I really wish I'd recorded it.)

Abby: "Okay. I'm going to tell you about your body. These are the parts of your body - your heart, your brain, your lungs, your large intestines, your kisneys... Your kisneys clean your blood...and your poop too... and your stomach chops up food."

Abby: "Tell me. How can you fix your body like a girl's? ....'Cause girls have so many ouchy and yucky things in their bodies." (She has no idea...)

Abby: "So, do you have parades in your town?" "Parades? Yeah. We have a 4th of July parade." "4th of July! We have that! And do you have a tower in your town? Or a boat?"

Abby: "So, do you ride a motorcycle or a bike?" "I ride a motorcyle." "Oh. I ride my super speedy bike. It's like my sisters's. But she's not so quick. I am because I'm a supergirl."

I was doing "tricks" with Ellie on the bed - airplane etc. I lifted her up so her bottom was on my feet and she started hollering, "Wait! I need my toe!" (It was twisted in my pants). Then, when she landed on my belly, she noticed that I had spilled some chocolate sauce from our milkshakes on my shirt. Yep, she started licking it.

I thought it was quite perceptive of Abby tonight when we were listening to "Tuppens a Bag" and she insisted it was Maria (from Sound of Music -Julie Andrews), not Mary Puppins (also Julie Andrews).

Abby had climbed into bed with us this morning after she woke up. Adam tends to get silly and loud in the morning and after a few minutes, Ellie showed up in our doorway with a sleepy scowl on her face. "Guys! You..Woke..Me..Up... That's..Not..Nice!.."

Abby: "I know! Noodles...and sauce! That makes pasta!"

Admiring herself in a small mirror, Abby said "You know, Mom, it's okay to look at yourself in the mirror."

I called Adam to see when he was coming home and put the phone on speaker. Abby came up and walked off with the phone, starting a conversation about how she's going to bed and hurt her foot. Then, "Can I call you right back, Dad?" "Um, yeah." "Okay. Bye."

We're currently working on 3 Nephi 17:19-ish (where Jesus prays for and blesses the children) with the girls for "scriptures" before bed. After we repeat it I ask them what it means. Abby, tonight: "Um, that you should be a good listener." "Try again. What does it mean?" "To obey your parents?"

Instead of reading a story tonight, I laid with the girls listening to Disney songs and told them stories/memories I had associated with each one. "Circle of Life" came on and Ellie got really excited. "I love this one!" she said. Abby: " I don't. It makes me sick."

Abby: "I'm so excited! My prince is coming! I can't wait to kiss him on the...um, I can't wait to kiss him!" Ellie responded flatly, "It's not time for kissing."


Abby opened up the new manual for Relief Society to a picture of Christ. "Look, Mom and Dad! He made it!" (Pause, with wide-eyed glances at each other.) "He made the food - the bread - he made it!" (The picture was of the Last Supper.)

Adam had me address a pimple on his buttox... A few minutes later Ellie asked, "Why did Daddy have a bumble in his bum?"

Ellie: "Mommy, your buns are too big to fit in that big chair."


Adam was asked to baptize an investigator today (Hippolite - a Business/Economics professor from Zaire to whom Adam gave a ride to church once). When we all went into the primary room where the font is located, of course the kids all crowded to the front. An 8-yr-old was baptized first, then Hippolite. Between baptisms, I could see Abby pushing her way closer to the font through the crowd of kids. "Hey guys, my dad's coming." As Adam stepped into the font, I heard "See! I told you it's my dad."

After the baptisms, they watched a movie, had some welcomes and then testimonies. Since the girls weren't exactly on their best behavior, we spent most of the time in the nursery. Hoping things were wrapping up, I took Ellie back to the RS room where Adam was bearing his testimony. Ellie, in not-so-quiet a voice asked, "Mom, where did Daddy's swimming pants go?" After he finished, she ran up to where he sat and asked "Daddy, are you done swimming?" Precept upon precept...


Ellie and I were just watching the week's forecast on the news. The anchor said something about snow and Ellie rolled her eyes and said to me, "Oh. Snow. I'm sorry sweety."

I brushed my teeth and put deodorant on to go work out. I stooped down to get Ellie's shoes on and she started sniffing. "What smells weird?"

Abby: "Mom. Thanks for being such a great mom. I love you." (WINNER)

Abby asked me to tell her about when I was born. Explaining that before I was in Grammy's belly, Abby and I were up in Heaven together, she got this excited look and said, "Yeah! You and me were playing in the clouds! And Uncle Michael and Uncle Matt and Uncle Nick were playing with us! But then they got too rough, so we stopped playing with them."


Ellie was invited to her friend Natalie's 2-yr birthday party at Chucky Cheese this morning. We got our of the car and I said "Okay - let's go find Natalie." The whole way in she kept asking "But where's Uncle Nate?"

I took Ellie to the bathroom at the party and Abby came running in. "Mom! Look what the lady gave me!" (She had about 50 tickets). "Oh my gosh. I can't believe my LIFE. So many tickets!"

We sat in one of those roller coaster simulators where the machine tips all around a 3-inch radius to match the roller coaster on the screen. After about 30 seconds, Abby said "I can't take it anymore!"

Abby: "Wait Mom. I want you to wipe my little bum."

Ellie, standing up on her chair with her belly poking over her jeans - after inhaling an entire grapefruit - "Go Irish!"

Abby, holding up a slice of orange that had a lot of white: "Mom, let me show you this orange what is too boring for me to eat."

Ellie asked what the spot on my lip is. "That's a mole." Touching the protruding mole on the back of my neck that she loves to rub when I lay down with her, she said "No. This is a mall. The one on your lip is an owie."

We knelt down around Abby's bed for prayers and I had my head buried into the mattress (long day). Adam started to say the prayer and from beneath me a little hand reached up to jiggle my belly. Nice.


I overheard Abby trying to convince Ellie (the kitty) to eat her peanut butter and banana breakfast panino (thanks to the Matagnis - we now eat panini every day): "Kitty, you need to eat this because Jesus made this so beautiful for the holidays."

Abby brought a battery-operated lantern to me and asked "Can you turn this on for m so I can see Ellie's preference where she's going?" "Ellie's preference?" "Yeah her put frints, you know, with her feet?" (Should I correct her anytime soon?)

Ellie: "Patty cake patty cake baker's man, bake me a spank fast as you can. Bake me a spank, bake me a spank, bake me a spank fast as you can."

Abby: "Mommy, the next night I'm going to dream about you being married. And Daddy being married. And then me and Ellie will get bigger and we'll get married and have more babies for you! Lots more Abby and Ellie babies...when we grow up bigger and move to Kindergarten."

I asked Abby what bed-time story she wanted: "Can you tell me the story of that girl who got the hair ball stuck in her belly?" (I told her once - a long time ago - about how Lindsay Thueson in 3rd grade brought x-rays of a hair ball in the intestines of a girl her dad operated on. The girl sucked on her hair and I warned Abby not to suck on hers - back when she could. Apparently the story had quite an impact on Abby.)

Ellie, on the way home from VA - "I gotta go potty! I gotta go potty! It's coming! It's COMING!" Abby - "Squeeze my hand Ellie! Just squeeze my hand!"

Ellie told me yesterday, "Mommy, I love your elbows...(feeling them). They're so scratchy."

Ellie, as she was waking up this morning and through her blurry eyes, "Mom - we don't have a GPS!" "Hmm. What should we do?" "I need one. And Abby needs one. And you need one." "Oh yeah?" "Yes - I want a Hello Kitty GPS."

I gave Abby the option of helping me clean her room or take a nap. She decided to "help." I told her we were dividing clothes into two piles - hers and Ellie's. Abby - "Okay. Um, well I'm going to be a big helper, Mom, and go get us two drinks." (shades of her father...?)

Abby, explaining why she can't take a bath tonight: "I'm just not feeling very good. Feel my brain, Mom. It's sick."